The Human Inside Us

This past week has been unusual. At night, I refreshed Instagram every few minutes, manic with anticipation before succumbing to sleep. As soon as I opened my eyes the next morning, I frantically groped for my phone, trying to read the screen through sleep-dazed eyes.

No, it was not your run-of-the mill social media addiction. It was an addiction to one extraordinary woman.

If you have been following Humans of New York, and not been scrolling through the posts with no more than a cursory glance, you would know this woman I am referring to. You are probably smiling thinking of her, a smile tinged with delight, disbelief & heaviness.

Tanqueray. Age 76. Reader of classics like The Illiad, The Odyssey, amongst others. Teenage mother. Convict. Document forger. Unloader of stolen goods. Divorcee. GoGo dancer. Burlesque performer. Twirler of silk negligee. Shooter of chocolate milk from her tit’s tips (And boys – or girls, if you are so inclined- if that doesn’t make you scramble in hurry to read her story, I don’t know what will).
But underneath this extraordinary life, just Stephanie.

I will not paraphrase her story here. One, it is her story and she trusted Humans of New York with its narration. Second, it has already been paraphrased quite brilliantly over a series of 32 posts in the past week.

But why is it then, that I – sitting in a different corner of the world, who has lived her life in a different time – am dedicating a write-up to both HONY & Tanqueray?

It is more in honor of what her story represents. The author could so easily have passed her by, not noticing an old lady standing on a sidewalk on a cold morning. Or he might have just smiled and brushed her off with a casual nod, as we are so wont to do. That he did not has made our world – and Stephanie’s – so much the better. It was because Brandon Stanton paused, spoke to her, and – to his thrill – discovered she had a phenomenal story to share that I, here in Rajajinagar, discovered about GoGo dancing, things one could do with a G-string and douching (Google it, like I did). Also, this singular story raised 2.5 Million USD for Tanqueray Trust which will help in Stephanie’s medical care.

There is another thing quite striking about these posts. Open any random post on Instagram, scroll through the comments section. I would bet you anything, you would not have to scroll more than a couple of times to come across a hateful, spiteful comment.

One shudders to think of the viciousness a black woman’s colourful life would invite on social media.
I have been diligently trying to find one in 32 posts depicting the life of a stripper.
And I am still trying.
Somewhere in the process of reading her words and about her experiences, something went right in this story telling feat which made 10.9 Mn followers of this page gain acceptance and shower understanding on a bar dancer. What’s more, they came together and contributed 2.5 Mn (the target was to raise a million) to ensure that the dancer’s remaining life was lived in dignity.

These are the things which affirm my faith in humanity. This is why I believe in the power of stories and words. It can connect us, even people who have nothing in common, to come together and make each other’s lives a little bit better. Everything has a beginning, only too often we do not recognize the grandeur and only see the mundane.
How often have you not ignored a boisterous, loud uncle – or a grandparent – who is too fond of reciting stories of their youth?
If only we pause, if only we are patient enough to listen to words and tales. Tanqueray’s story has shown us that we have that capacity within us, that something which lends its name to the name of our species.
Humanity.